Subha Manoj

While I Was Away

Subha Manoj

2012 Highlights: EFFORTS = REWARDS…..really??


This post starts with a warning:

It is a very subjective topic. This is my opinion which I have formed; with the way situations went down and came way up in 2012. I strongly feel one’s life’s principles are born from the situations one faces and the way it has been successfully dealt with.

2012 started with a big time low for my family. We were already dealing with the sudden demise of my father in late 2011, but it turned out that was not the only issue we had to endure. I cannot divulge the facts of the dismal turnout of the events, but it was a very trying period.

Friends moved away, people who we thought were the ‘good’ people in our life proved us otherwise, true colours of  few family members came alive (that was the most painful)….and all we could do was watch.


We prayed for a miracle. We prayed saying, “This is the time to reward us for all the good things we have done till now in our life.” Every morning we got up thinking this would be the last day of the wait. But it turned out to be a longer wait than our prediction.

I was left questioning whether really it is all about hard work and being good? If that was the case, then where did our rewards vanish?

On a particularly frustrated morning, I said, “What is the point even trying this hard, when anyway things are happening in its own way?!!” My husband (who looks cool even if there is hurricane within him) responded, “Actually it makes sense. Why don’t we stop trying hard for some time, and see what happens?” I gave him the most ‘you-really-want-me-to-take-that-shit’ look and asked him, “And that’s your solution?” That is when he introduced me to a wonderful concept which Stephen R.Covey penned down.

The blue area is the Circle of Concern. This area includes all our worries: Career, job, family, kids, money, investments, losses, profits, health, time management, and so on. Essentially we would want to to make a difference to all of the concerns.

The orange area is Circle of Influence. This area includes all that we can do to make the requisite change in our life or resolve the Circle of Concern. For eg: Meet right people, take up a hobby, make new friends, learn about new investment avenues, spend time with family, go for regular heath tests, go for a walk everyday, etc.

The aim is to reduce the Circle of Concern, so that we are successful emotionally, physically, mentally and socially. This can be achieved by increasing the Circle of Influence. By being better equipped and taking steps towards personal development, this Circle of Influence can be increased. Automatically, Circle of Concern becomes smaller.

What I am trying to speak about in this post is the gap between the 2 circles.

No matter what, at any given time there exists a gap between the 2 circles. There is a limitation to how much you influence to reduce your concerns. The reason could be many. If you think about it spiritually, then it is destiny. Or if you think about it practically, the reason could be that we live in a social set up, where our life is influenced by other people who may or may not be a part of our life. And this is something we cannot control. This is where an unknown hand plays its part. This is where we have to teach ourselves to be patient, to trust that no situation remains the same and that things will finally pitch in positively.

The concept made complete sense. We had been in a  situation where nothing we did fixed it. It was like no matter what we did, the probability of its success was in the hands of some other people who were completely unknown to us. We did not know what they thought or what they would do. So what we did was HAVE FAITH,  ACT PATIENT, SPOKE TO FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS FOR INSPIRATION AND SUPPORT, ATE GOOD FOOD (Yeah..that never fails!), LAUGHED A LOT AND BASKED IN MUTUAL LOVE AND RESPECT (to keep up the positive energy).

None of this is easy, I know. But we did it. Finally the time came and right people entered our life. And just like that, the right pegs fell into the right holes. VOILA!

A lot of it is about the right efforts. Well, you don’t get to eat yumm Aloo Paranthas unless someone or you make it. But some of it is also about things you cannot control. If the plate of Aloo Paranthas fall down at just the wrong moment, then you HAVE to wait till a fresh batch is prepared. Ultimately you do get your mouthful. 🙂

One Reply to “2012 Highlights: EFFORTS = REWARDS…..really??”

  • Cheers to that ! My mother always said, surround yourself with good things, good people, and good thoughts and the rest will fall in place on its own 🙂 There were quite a few things that I have learnt from her. One thing that she always tells me is 'Not to worry about things that are not in my control'.. Well, I am still working on that one. You have put your thoughts so beautifully into words.. Like always !

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