The night stays back then :)

For every teen, a night stay at a friend’s house is like a dream come true. There is a certain mischief, magic, excitement and a whole load of fun attached to a night stay. Inspite of the fact that the host’s parents are sleeping in the next bedroom, there is a curiosity and wow-ness to it.

My first night-stay happened at my best friend’s house on her birthday when I was I guess 15. To say the least it was the most exciting day of my life. I had wrapped all the excitement carefully camouflaged under a straight look on my face for my parents. Well, my friend and I (the drama queens we were!!) had to really do a lot of nautanki  to make my parents agree to a night stay at her place. I never wanted to make a big issue out of it, what if they take back their approval? I guess my parents knew what it meant to me. They never made a big deal out the D-day or the time when I said bye. I think they wanted to learn to trust me their own way…they never made a single phone call to my friend’s house to check upon me. I feel that was huge! I am sure I will make the embarrassing phone calls to my kids’ cell phones when they are out for their night stays. (smiling wickedly)

After the first one, followed a few more night stays. I still remember all the crazy things we did. The non stop chatting under the blanket with the lights off and then my friend’s mother coming in to scold us, asking us to go to sleep. The midnight visit to the terrace, where we would talk about ghosts and scary incidents. Trust me, there would be a chilly gush of wind also which would follow. And I swear we could hear voices and noises. All the girlie talks about growing up, boys and shhhhh…the dirty talks too. We literally prayed for the night to never end.

Nevertheless it was the ultimate independent-grown up- feeling.

Today, with 2 kids and crazy busy days and wishing for ‘me’ time deliriously, I wish once more for night stays. And no, I am not talking about family parties. I am talking about time with my girl friends. The ones who are also in the same boat as I. I know how much we will cherish a night stay while our husbands babysit our kids, while we do what the girl in our heart does the best. Non-stop chat, dirty talks, and yeah this time we could get tipsy too…yeah! We could make that trip to the terrace for sure.

It will be the ultimate independent-young feeling 🙂

The Churning of the Ocean

The Hindu mythology greatly talks about the incident of The Churning of the Ocean, and many wise people still speak about its relevance to the modern world. Recently I realised lately that I have too been churning the ocean and coincidentally a book I was reading made me realise what was happening.

In a gist, the story goes something like this: In the desire of amrita (the divine drink which gives immortality), Lord Indra initiated the desire to churn the ksheer sagar (ocean of milk). The amrita did come out in the end of the ordeal, but at the cost of halahal (the deadly poison, which Lord Shiva had eventually drunk to save the world).

In the modern world too, we want a lot of good things. The list and the quest is endless. But end result is not always the good part. Along with the many fulfilled wants comes some price which we have to pay reluctantly. As an economics teacher, I have said this statement many a times: There is a difference between wants and needs. Most of the times our needs can be fulfilled, but wants are something which is endless. And this is what that has to be controlled by a controlled line of thoughts and emotions. Tough, very tough but achievable by practice.

There is another side of the coin, which I read about in the book, which I felt was more applicable to me. Most of the times I am pretty much in control to decide what I need and what I want. What I am about to mention is what I have had to struggle with.

For a lot of us, there is an unending desire to churn the ocean around us. When things are calm, composed and pretty much smooth, we want to add new things to our agenda. It’s like saying calmness is boring. During trying times, we keep wishing for normalcy, boredom and the usual. And then when things become normal, then we want a change, and we start churning the ocean to derive a newness, a want, a desire.

With that churning, comes a halahal. The forms are many. Stress, tension, sleepless nights, lengthy phone calls, body ache, heart problems…the list is huge. We are not letting our mind to stay still. The mind is put to work so much that it starts giving up, and thus arises many ailments and bad relationships.

Next time when things are normal and boring, let it be. Like I said earlier, normal and usual is fine. Ask someone who is facing a problem in his life. It is something to be grateful about. Trust me, to kill boredom or normalcy with a new want is the wrong way. Try a hobby, pick up a book, play an instrument, feed the poor, do some charity, play with your pet, take a walk, listen to your favourite music, meet a friend, have a healthy snack, make some good food, watch a little bit of TV, log on to facebook, chat with a friend. There you go…there are so many options. Look for small happiness and not churning the ocean.