Subha Manoj

While I Was Away

Subha Manoj

2013 highlights: Dasvidaniya Dilli (Post 3)

I have just come back from Delhi (my home-town). But this trip has been different for couple of reasons. For one, I don’t know when or whether I would be making my next trip there. It was more like a winding up trip for me, as we were packing my mother’s stuff. She has finally moved in with me.

It was like experiencing Delhi through a different perspective.

I literally had Golgappas (…not Paani puris) every day of my 10 days stay.

A drank milk in the same steel glass from which I used to drink milk in as a 3 year old till I was in college. I have to mention here that to hold that glass in my hands brought back very old and fond memories of my father. As a child, I was very slow and pathetic at eating anything or drinking milk. Every single day, my father used to hold the very same steel glass with warm milk in it and make me drink milk while he told a new story. Yup, a new story every single day! The glass has now entered my home 🙂

N now wears a gold bangle in each of her hands.What is so special about it, right? What is special is that they are my bangles which my grandfather gifted me during my 28th day naming ceremony. (That’s right, my daughter now wears what I wore as a 1 month old.)

A now has an amazing collection of books on varied topics which my father secretly bought for him before he passed away.

The next time N has to adorn a saree for an annual day or a dance, I don’t have to think twice. She is now a proud owner of her mother’s tiny blouses. (I had worn them when I was around 7-8 years of age for a fancy dress competition.) It comes in two colours too: Green and Red. 🙂

For a change, I did not shop. Okay..just a little bit, actually. Couple of pairs of footwear, that’s it. (Hard to believe right? But it is true. God promise.) But my oh my! My bachchaas…they have received so many clothes from my family members that I think I just might have to change their wardrobe. N does not stop saying ‘So nice dress, Amma’ every time she takes a bath and needs a set of clothes to wear.

A laid eggs. Before you gasp, let me share that it was at Barbeque Nation, where our entire family was out for lunch. The in-house magician made my dear son lay an egg. It was hilarious! It took me back to the innumerable times we used to go for extended family lunches for the smallest and the biggest of the reasons during my growing up years.

How does you leave behind a place which has been your very foundation since birth? How does it feel like selling off a dining table aged about 20 years, a book shelf which is also about the same age, a bed in which I remember studying for my 10th boards exams? It s inexplicable. What is intriguing is that I did not feel all these gamut of emotions when I left Delhi behind after my marriage. Maybe the fact that I know this is a permanent move and there is no looking back, which made it tough.

Honestly, I would say what I felt was minuscule in front of my mother who was leaving Delhi after 58 long years! 58 years – it is not a joke. I could constantly see the pain, the anguish, worry and inability to let go in my mother’s body language. It was as if she was communicating with the all her plants, the non living things in our home, her utensils…everything. Did I mention, I have brought 3 of her lush curry leaves plant to my home. It caught the eye of every person in the airport. A big bag with dark green, fresh leaves peeping out of it. 🙂

I asked my mother how does it feel to leave her entire life behind and join me. She said, “It is difficult, but I am telling myself that it is the start of the next phase of my life.”

I don’t know when I would be meeting my school friends, my chaddi-buddies the next time. I don’t know whether my mother would be meeting her friends and colleagues who have been through thick and thin with her.

I don’t even know how to end this post. Maybe all I can say is:

Dearest Delhi,

You have given me the best of the memories and the biggest of the lessons of my life. You have given me the true Dilli-wala dil. You have gifted me the perfect awesome Hindi, which I yearn to hear and speak in Bangalore. (Sorry Bangalore, you lose here big time!) For all the things I remember and I have forgotten…Thank you.

4 Replies to “2013 highlights: Dasvidaniya Dilli (Post 3)”

  • What a heart warming post ! absolutely understand your feelings and more so aunty's. And here's to an awesome start for all of you and many years of beautiful togetherness ahead 🙂

  • I can understand how you must be feeling. I felt that way when we moved for the first time. I must have told every stone around my home good bye. It still hurts each time I move. Hugs.

  • Hugs subha ….. And remember u've another house in delhi so keep visiting. Missed meeting u this time but next time u'll have to come exvlusively to meet me, hog on golgappas & feel the city…ur city..noida. Ok??

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