A hug at night and a walk in rain.

Sonny darling has been sleeping on his own since he turned 5, which is like 3 years back. I still remember the big small eyes, full of awe and I-am-a-big-guy-now feeling, not to mention a tinge of fear and a dash of uncertainty. The bed time ritual then and now is still the same. We hold hands, talk for a while, kiss, hug, say good night and finally a small prayer. A very short and sweet prayer which my dad had taught me when I started sleeping alone.

Dear Lord Hanuman, Please do not let me see bad dreams. Even if I see it, just wake me up hitting me with your tail. (This is translated into Malayalam)

In the initial days of his new venture, a small zero watt bulb was left switched on the whole night in the passage between his room and ours. And then one fine say he said, “Switch it off Amma. I anyway don’t see the light when I sleep” 😛 It definitely helps that a faint light warms up the whole living room from the street light.

He is free to come to our bedroom any time during the night. He did that a lot initially, but now it hardly ever happens. But he knows, he is welcome anytime at night, without any questions asked.

During all these past days, there have been times when after going in for a while, he has come out with a pout. It mostly happens when M and I are watching TV. He comes to me and waits…for a hug. The first time it happened, it was quizzical and confusing, and almost worrying. Worrying because he would say, he is getting scared or he has heard noises, or he feels someone is coming to hurt him. I would just take him in my arms and hug him. Just that….hug him and whisper in his ears that M and I are always there for him. No one ever can hurt him with us being around. Almost in a jiffy, I can feel his heart beat calming down, the shoulders relaxing and a smile coming up. “Good night, Amma and Papa. I love you.” He says and goes off to sleep.

This painting has been done by my dearest and closest friend, Suhasini Vinayak. When I saw it, this experience with A came up in my mind. She was sweet enough to let me use her painting here.

You see, I could have asked A to start sleeping with us again after his bout of anxiety. But I reminded myself that, our kids at any point of time just need the security that we are around.

Life is not always sunny. Sometimes it gets cloudy and it pours too. As much as the rains could get uncomfortably wet, there is also an experience of the invigorating smell of the wet mud, the feel of wetness dripping through the body, the mild chillness which is amazing…? That’s when a child needs an umbrella and a short walk together with a loved one. We need not necessarily ask the child to stay indoors. Because, once the rain is over, and the sun is out…the child learns that the clouds were just temporary and that he has emerged stronger and happier.

Note: You can see more of Suhasini’s paintings here. 🙂

2 Replies to “A hug at night and a walk in rain.”

  • Aww.. what a wonderful and warm post ! I would love to read the malayalam version of
    Dear Lord Hanuman, Please do not let me see bad dreams. Even if I see it, just wake me up hitting me with your tail.
    Thanks a million for making me a part of this post. I am feeling extremely honoured. 🙂
    Love the message at the end. I have told you this a million times, but I want to say it again.. your writing is just excellent and so heart warming. Keep it coming.

  • nice post.. i too love to give hugs, but there are times when I really wish to breakfree from her. and when she does not want me, then I start missing the hugs..nice philosophical analogy.. kinda triggers the thoughts in me.. haa.its been so long I have written something on my blog..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *