2017 is about to end. If I look back and introspect, one aspect stood out for me: FRIENDSHIP.
Some friendships have made me ponder…a lot. Some friendships have accepted new terms and some friendships have become dope for me. As some are making an exit, some are arriving. Choosing family is way easier, well you don’t do much about it, do you? But friends are your choice, or is it? Is it a conscious choice? Or is does it just happen, like love? Is it a happily ever-after? Or is it a book of accounts, too many additions and subtractions, so bugged that you just give up and accept.
Let me lead you through a story.
Once upon a time was a tree. Under the tree lived a Big Wolf. Once upon a time lived you in your own sweet life. Days passed by and one day, (not an ordinary day) a Little Wolf appeared. (Tiny, but bright blue, unavoidable and distinct) And then one day, you meet Alpha. Someone you thought was insignificant, but soon you released she is not. Alpha is unavoidable and distinct. The Big Wolf was terrified by the possibility of the newcomer being bigger than him. You are skeptical about Alpha. Alpha is a stranger, what if Alpha is better than who you are. Without we realizing, there is that little boss called ego in all of us. But as the little wolf comes near, the Big Wolf is relieved. He is smaller than him. He is no competition. He is reassured. You are reassured. Alpha is warm. She is no competition. At first, the two wolves weigh each other silently and slowly the timidness of the Little Wolf makes the big wolf secure. At first, you and Alpha weigh each other, share stories and slowly you feel Alpha also is twisted in her own way. You are comforted. The ego is at rest. Days pass by and the Big Wolf observes (to his surprise) that the Little Wolf is following him everywhere. He had assumed the Little Wolf will walk away. You assume Alpha will be like the others, she will be on her won soon. But no, she is right there everyday. The Big Wolf watches as the little wolf struggles to climb the tree. He feels non-threatened and awestruck to see the Little Wolf’s courage. You watch Alpha face her own struggles and you feel one with her. Non-threatened and inspired. Well, you also have your own struggles. She is no different. The Little Wolf accepts the small morsels of food offered by the Big Wolf. The Big Wolf watches in satisfaction as the Little Wolf gobbles the morsel given to him. Alpha seeks out for help from you in non-favourable situations, vents out and looks up to your opinions. And you feel satisfied. You are important.
One day, the Big Wolf went far from the tree, through the fields, probably in search of food. He comes back in the evening to find the tiny blue dot, the Little Wolf gone. He is no where to be found. And one day, Alpha is not her usual self. She seems distant, aloof. The Big Wolf feels uneasy for the first time in his life. You feel uneasy for the first time. This little blue dot was after all not that insignificant; the Big Wolf realizes as he feels sad and empty. What he had thought was tiny had fulfilled his blankness, but he never felt grateful about it. You realize Alpha was not just another person. She has taken up a place n your silently silently but strongly. A lot of space.
The next morning painfully arrives. The Big Wolf promises himself that if the Little Wolf comes back, he will value him, give him more food than the tiny morsel, give him more space to sleep than the corner of the tree. You understand that Alpha is not just an ordinary person. She actually completes that black hole inside you. And you promise yourself when Alpha is back to normal, you will treasure her, for now you know she is your equal.
And just like that, one day the Little Wolf comes back. And just like that one day Alpha is back. She seems normal and your heart dances again at her being your friend.
The Big Wolf did not think twice before saying, ‘Where were you? I missed you. Without you I was sad.’ The ego is no more to be found.
You don’t bat an eyelid before saying, ‘Alpha, you are important to me. I don’t want to lose you. You are a very dear friend.’
The Little Wolf said, ‘Me too.’ The Big Wolf is relieved.
Alpha says, ‘Me too.’ You are relieved.
And so it was decided, the Little Wolf will stay. Just that he is not little anymore.
And so it was decided, Alpha will stay. She is not the insignificant other anymore.
You can read this beautiful, heart warming story of loneliness, ego, solidarity and acceptance here.