Subha Manoj

While I Was Away

Subha Manoj

Final Lap 2015

2015 has been crystal clear about what this year has been
for me. It started off with M moving out, choosing an overseas job in the month
of March. Life took a 360 degree turn. I became a temporary single parent.
Handling two kids, a job, home and much more all by myself was not easy, to say
the least. My bathroom has been a solace and a witness to many of my emotional
outbursts and not so lady like moments. Things were in for a drastic change
when for many reasons kids and I decided against moving abroad. It basically
meant M and I staying apart, the kids having to live with one parent and being
able to see their father once in few months. We decided to brave it out… the
opportunity was huge.
The first few months were just fine. After that boredom set
in for M and me. Now many people wouldn’t understand. Boredom is never a reason
for sadness right? Boredom is a silly childish word. What do you do when you
get bored? You watch TV, go for a walk, read for a while, listen to music, do
some gardening or get a new hobby. But none of these have anything to do with
people. At the end of the day you need people to get back to…. at home.
Sometimes, boredom is an understatement. We don’t have the right words to verbally
express. Yeah, adults too suffer from insufficient vocabulary.
The boldest of the mind also needs a marshmallow of the sorts. Nothing…Nothing
completes the incompleteness of a lonely heart, other than what the heart truly
desires. So finally, we let the heart win over the head. M decided to come back
home to us. Nothing was worth being away from family.
We decided to finish the final lap of 2015 with a visit to
our hometown. Has it ever happened to you that you wish to hear some things
from people who matter to you, and when they say those words, it feels like
words from the Gods? Well, during the usual string of visits to extended family
members, some of them spoke certain words which made us believe in ourselves
just a tad bit more. It did not matter that there were few souls around us who
felt leaving a very lucrative opportunity abroad was a totally absurd idea.
M’s almost 80 year uncle asked us, “So tell me why do we
take birth?” I blinked twice before giving a blank look. He said, “To die.”
“So what do we do between birth and death?”
“I know …I know!” I chirped like a little girl. “Live”
“Correct. We should live our life. And what helps us to
This one I knew ….bang on. And I answered unlike a little
girl, but as someone who had walked the talk.
“Family. Family helps us to live.”
“Correct.” He said. “Family and people around us help us to
live. So, don’t just stay alive. Live.”
I smiled.

We have a lot to be grateful for. 2016 begins with just a
small prayer loaded with humbleness and thankfulness for everything big and
small in our life.

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