Subha Manoj

While I Was Away

Subha Manoj


A very dear friend of mine has been asking me what I feel about the feeling: LOVE. And she suggested that I write today about it, as it is my 11th wedding anniversary. 🙂

One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for friendship… rings a bell? I have fond memories of walking to the bus stop (during school days) and searching for mynahs. The moment I would see one mynah, I would immediately cross my fingers and search frantically for two of them together.

I am sure many of us have played the game of FLAMES. The compatibility between friends and ofcourse the special ones would be analysed using the names. F- Friendship, L-Love, A- Attraction, M-Marriage, E-Enemy and S- Sibling. (Not sure whether the full forms remain the same today) Most of my notebooks had FLAMES all over in the last page.

The need for companionship and love remains then and now. But the definition changes as we grow.

The teenage hormones enter our body in a package. With it comes the flutter in the eyes, the sweet heaviness in the heart, cheeks turning pink and warm feeling all over our body, when we see that special someone.

And then comes rejection, heartbreak, misinterpretations, mistakes.

And then we GROW UP.

I had read somewhere…You must not fall in love, but rise in love. I remember the day I had read this quote, I told myself, “Yes, that is love. We must love someone who makes you rise and not fall.”

The other day, I asked my son,”How come you don’t tell me anything about the girls in your class?”

He said, “What’s there to tell?”

I asked, “Do you not like playing with girls?”

And then he said a few names of girls in his class with who he liked to interact. And then immediately he said, “I just like them ok, not love them.”

I asked, “Why? Why not love them?”

And his answer was, “Amma, please. You love a person when you marry the person. Otherwise you just like the person.”

Ofcourse he doesn’t know that it’s not the truth. He will know…when the time comes.

If you have read the book Only Love is Real by Brian Weiss, you must be knowing how beautifully he explains that a person can have more than one soul mate. The term soul mate is highly misconstrued. A soul mate is someone you meet who helps you to complete a certain purpose. A soul mate may stay for a really long time with you, or may move on way too soon. But at the end, the motive is fulfilled.

I feel love for my husband who has always stood by me. He is my biggest strength, and my true soul mate.

I feel love for my kids who have taught me to be true meaning of selfless love. Love without expectations.

I feel love for my friends. Some of these friends are so close to me that I feel they are my soul mates. They have spoken the right words at the right time and made some of my worst days passable.

I feel love for my home which is not even a living thing. One of the practices my husband and I follow is thank places we stay in, when move out. We have thanked hotel rooms and our past rented apartments. Silly as it sounds, but we feel love for these places, which helped us feel safe and at home.

At the end of the day, love makes us strong…alive and makes us move ahead. It doesn’t hold us back. We accept the person and not weigh the options.

This quote from the book and the movie Notebook rightly puts it:

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.” – The Notebook

One Reply to “L.O.V.E”

  • Good appreciable. To me love means (whoever may be) its understanding – no agreement, it means forgiveness-not forgetting, it means the memories-even if the contact is lost. Keep loving all

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